Mannequin (1987)

This movie... oh, Mannequin... it is a movie. The most interesting aspect for me is that Andrew McCarthy managed to star in two films about dead things where he spends the entirety of the film trying to convince people are alive. (Weekend at Bernies?!). That seems like a pretty niche genre and somehow he did that!

Overall Mannequin has some funny parts. Unfortunately, they don't make up for the fact that the entire conflict of the film, two rival department stores vying for all the customers and willing to fight each other in the most underhanded of ways, makes no sense... even in the context of the times. Then, quality window displays are the difference maker?! I mean, it is kind of hilarious, but so so stupid that it just doesn't work.

But that's obviously not the point of the movie, really. The point is that somebody needed an excuse to put Kim Cattrall in as many hot outfits as possible and play into some dorky dude hetero male fantasy. It's like the Indian in the Cupboard, but for that population. So silly, though. After denying all those potential royal suiters in ancient Egypt, now she's going for this guy? That is also funny. I love suspending disbelief for imaginative movies, but then certain lines are crossed and something just doesn't work at all. Ha!

And then... there's the fact that too many of the jokes don't land nowadays. They're sexist and/or homophobic, playing off stereotypes in not a good way. Oof. I am tolerant of the fact that movies made in a different time can sometimes not age well or have to be considered in context of their era, and I can sometimes glance the other way to enjoy a film. But, sometimes it is too much, this is one of those times. Oh well.

Twins

I recently rewatched Twins, first time since back in the day. I had my doubts but found myself truly enjoying it. The film doesn't try to do too much and remains mostly funny. Yes, some of the gags are super stupid and if I was seeing it for the first time today, I prob wouldn't have enjoyed it so much. But that's not reality. It's got some nostalgic tugs and enough to entertain, and Devito and Schwarzenegger and brilliant in those roles. Still worth watching...

Jurassic World Dominion

The movie, compared to budget, could have possibly been worse, but not much. The dinosaurs look like video game animations. The script is pretty stale, with lots of predictable cringy one liners. The action is mostly boring. The premise with the villain doesn't really involve dinosaurs, so disappointing. I will say, Jeff Goldblum's character is entertaining when he's on screen. And I did shed a tear at the end because I'm a sucker for a tug on the heart strings. But overall, skip this one in the series.

Angel Heart

I liked this movie a lot. I finally saw Angel Heart for the first time after never having heard of it despite it being about 35 yrs old. I can honestly say, it stands out as unique. It's artful enough to stay interesting despite being fairly predictable. And the zinger ending didn't really land for me. But I wanna say, who cares. For this movie, the journey is still enjoyable. Wow, though... some scenes are unnecessarily brutal and kinda gross, so be ready for that. Maybe that kind of thing can be part of the appeal for some... I dunno. 😆 

Jungle Cruise

It isn't great, but since I checked it out of the library and needed something mindless to watch, it delivered. This is one of those movies that's such a blend of CGI and people that you wonder if the whole thing was filmed in front of a green screen. Much of the CGI sucks and Jungle Cruise will likely age poorly. But, I like the Rock and Emily Blunt, and Paul Giamatti, and seeing nazis get their butts kicked... so overall, watch it once. It gets the job done for what you'd expect despite being firmly mediocre.

Masters of the Universe Revelation

First of all, spoiler alert... if you haven't watched MOTU Revelation yet, maybe pause and go do that... if you care. 

Anyway, I know there are mixed feelings all over the internet about this show. Interestingly, I haven't heard anybody discuss the issues I have with the program. I want to first mention, I'm a huge MOTU fan. I've watched all the original series He Man and She Ra, and loved the 2001 He Man reboot and the newest She Ra reboot. All awesome. (I haven't watched the New Adventures, as it's been elusively difficult to find). All the stuff about Teela being a central character, Orko dying (or did he?!), and the animation... I'm good with. The issues I have with the new show has primarily to do with the fact that it boasts being a continuation of the original series. For that to be, it must follow a few guidelines outlined by that series to actually work. By the way, I'm totally good with updating a show to the modern era, taking creative liberties, and changing aspects of it that makes a show cooler. We need more diverse characters and stories, so I am generally always into changes along those lines. And I wanted so badly to love MOTU Revelation... I just can't. It's so damn mediocre it hurts. 

On a level, these points may seem nitpicky but since the plot wouldn't be possible without them, I'm gonna plant them firmly in the lazy writing dept. So, I have to assume that either 1. The writers haven't watched the original show, or 2. They don't care. Either way... unacceptable. Do a reboot instead. 

First, King Randor banishing Man at Arms for not revealing Adam is He Man. No. It's too out of character. But also, MaA would just be following orders from a prince by keeping that secret. Sure, Randor would be mad his son is gone and the news of being He Man would be a shocker, but kick his most valuable soldier out of the kingdom at a time of crisis?! When the man's daughter is also the best soldier?! I think not. It makes no sense and they had so much history together, they'd work through it. Especially with Queen Marlena's POV and influence in there, yeah... gimme a break writers. Of course, the plot couldn't happen without this happening, so lazy writing strikes. 

Next, we have a situation that clearly disrupts the balance of Eternia. Who should be there? Zodac. Or, maybe even a whole mess of cosmic enforcers. This is a major oversight that needs explaining for anything that happens in the show to work. Why are they not there? We get the little nod through the member of Greyskull's posse. Why didn't that dude speak up?? Lazy. Explain why. Even if it's something like, they lost all their tech due to some maguffin, or something silly. 

Why bring up Trolla? Then it needs to be acknowledged how Trolla works, with Orko being a good magician there, instead of a klutz. The show didn't need to bring up the place, but decided to go there... just to mess it up. Orko still being a klutz even in Trolla is another detail that, if continuing off original series, is a big mess up. Or, if they weren't really in Trolla, Orko would know instantly when his magic didn't work right. So this ends up being so annoying. 

Now for He Man...

Calling on the power of Grayskull once already He Man? Does it seem remotely possible that he wouldn't think of trying that if it were a thing and wait until now to do it? No, it does not seem possible. That's because it's not a thing in the original series and shouldn't be a thing if this show actually continued from the original series. Just, no. It's stupid and not part of the character's powers. 

Finally, stabbing He Man while mid transformation like he's in a vulnerable state. I don't buy it. Here's why. The most we see in the original series to indicate he's transforming is a brief flash of light, not much more than a blink. All the rest, the song, the changing of Cringer into Battlecat, it all happens outside the normal experience for others... so it happens for He Man and Battlecat but not for nobody else. This logically leads to it seem like no time passes between when Adam changes to He Man, it's a blink. He's either one or the other. But once again, this was a tactic to further a flimsy plot. And it makes no sense. 

The problem is, there's a lot of good writing on TV right now. Why not take the time to get this stuff right? They had good animation and other aspects of Revelation are nice updates (like Teela being a badass) and are well done. Unfortunately these story flub ups undermine the good qualities of the show. So it comes across as unthought-out fan fiction at best and at worst, a cash grab on people's nostalgia. 

Here's to hoping part 2 is better. 

All Superheroes Must Die (2011)

Last night I had the pleasure of watching All Superheroes Must Die, a movie I picked up at the Dollar Tree. Now, that can be a mixed bag and maybe I wouldn't be so fond of this one if I'd paid more for it. Who knows. The fact is, ASHMD is a quirky low budget movie that tackles the Superhero concept in a way that was new for me. While at the same time, it has plenty that'll be familiar to anyone who has spent any time with the popular genre. 

First of all, I don't think this movie would exist without the current Marvel and DC movie craze, it needs those as a foundation to riff off of. Yet, I think it's more interesting than anything those two have released. I find myself so bored with the rehashing continually on the part of both of those, Marvel especially, that I can't remember which ones I've seen or haven't and what happened in what movies... it's all a blur. 

Meanwhile I'm convinced that the reason ASHMD got terrible reviews (according to their Wikipedia page) is because it didn't deliver a package at all similar to what those big box office films do. Did anybody notice the budget of $20K???? Unbelievable what it accomplished with that. 

Let's do some math... take the 2012 release of The Avengers for example. 143 minutes of movie with a budget of 220 MILLION. So the outcome is about 1.5 million per one minute of movie. That one minute of Avengers could pay for ASHMD 76 times and still have beer money left over for the cast and crew. (You'd think for the big budget movies they could at least pay somebody to write a decent script *jab*jab*). Okay, so next time somebody is shitty about a movie, also take a look at what they had work with. Or, don't. Up to you. To me, it matters. 

So, it's about a team of heroes that face off against an arch villain who's taken their powers and put them in a sort of running man situation. But, it's rigged against them and there's no way to save everybody. It gets kind of brutal and the practical effects are not bad. The sets are not bad. The acting, while it has a made-for-tv vibe, is not bad. The script, while it kind of reminds me of a high school movie project in a few regards, is actually not too bad. The costumes are not bad. Actually, they're fun. 

I was expecting something along the lines of Mystery Men or maybe Watchmen when I sat down to watch ASHMD, but I knew nothing about it. So, at first I was a little bummed, but I got into it. There is a type of catharsis that comes from watching the heroes get their asses kicked, have to experience a real pain and loss and even lose saving the innocents. There were also a few twists that surprised me. And I liked the team dynamics. Even though, I would have a hard time believing any in ASHMD could face off against a team of Marvel/DC peeps. Instead they reminded me of what I'd hoped White Wolf's Aberrant ttrpg would provide, something as much human as hero and actually vulnerable. 

The pacing moves right along at a consistent clip. And I've read there's a sequel, and guess what? I'd like to try and see it. It's probably cool. 

Okay.... if you enjoy the indie low budget movie, give this a shot. It's interesting and unique (and way way way better than Shadows and Lies :-D). If you have no patience for that and need the big budget special effects, you'd be better to skip this one. That's the bottom line. I was pleasantly impressed.